View Full Version : Lions Tour

05-07-05, 12:07
Here is a quote which has been posted onto the SRU site, I am not sure if some the members of this site will be very impressed with it. I am sorry before hand to some of our members.


Date Posted: 05-Jul-05

The Scottish-captained British & Irish Lions won their final midweek game of the tour against Auckland 13-17.

The starting XV, captained by Scotland hooker Gordon Bulloch, featured the Lions debut of Jason White, who became the 48th player to take part in this tour.

Auckland, featuring flying All Black Joe Rokocoko, fought back from 3-14 down to bring the match within one point (13-14) and with only seven minutes to go before the final whistle, stand off Ronan O’Gara, who’d replaced Charlie Hodgeson in only the 22 minute of the game, slotted the crucial three points to stretch the Lions ahead.

The record remains that every match to feature a Scot on this year’s Lions tour has resulted in a Lions win.

Auckland: Brent Ward; Isa Nacewa, Ben Atiga, Sam Tuitupou, Joe Rokocoko; Tasesa Lavea, Steve Devine; Saimone Taumoepeau, Semisi Telefoni, John Afoa; Brad Mika, Bryce Williams; Justin Collins (captain), Daniel Braid, Angus MacDonald.
Replacements: John Fonokalafi, Chris Heard, Kurtis Haiu, Jerome Kaino, Taniela Moa, Isaia Toe'ava, Gavin Williams
Lions: Geordan Murphy; Mark Cueto, Will Greenwood, Gordon D'Arcy, Denis Hickie; Charlie Hodgson, Matt Dawson; Graham Rowntree, Gordon Bulloch (captain), John Hayes; Simon Shaw, Ben Kay; Jason White, Martyn Williams, Michael Owen.
Replacements: Andy Titterrell, Matt Stevens, Brent Cockbain, Martin Corry, Chris Cusiter, Ronan O'Gara, Shane Horgan.

05-07-05, 16:07
that last line is spin to the degree that even alistair (spit) cambell would have been proud of!

Hold on.... alistair.... campbell....



Robert Burns
06-07-05, 12:07
ha ha ha.

Thats class, I'm going to start the "MAKE GORDON THIRD TEST CAPTAIN" campaign

15-07-05, 01:07
It has started...but it is pretty funny!

Edward was at achool this morning and the teacher asked all the
children whats their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came
out, Fireman, Policeman, Salesman, Chippy, Captain of Industry etc, but
Edward was being uncharacteristically quite and so the teacher asked him
about his father.

"May father is an exotic dancer in a gay club and takes off all his
clothes in front of other man. Sometimes if the offer is really good, he'll
go out with a man, rent a cheap motel room and let them sleep with him."

The teacher quickly set the other children some work and took little
Edward aside to ask him if that was really true.

"No" Edward said, "He plays rugby for the Lions but I was just too
embarrassed to say"

************************************************** ****************

The Lions rugby practice was delayed nearly two hours today after a
player reported finding an unknown white powdery substance on the practice

The coach immediately suspended practice while police and forensic
investigators were called to investigate.

After a complete analysis, investigating forensic experts determined
that the white substance unknown to players was the try line.
Practice was resumed after special agents decided the team was
unlikely to encounter the substance again...

************************************************** ****************

The Lions coach takes the Team out for a training run and first up he
tells everyone to assume their normal position.

So they all go and stand behind the goalposts and wait for the

************************************************** ***************

The Lions are making available a help-line for fans who are
disappointed with their teams recent performance.

The help line number is 0800 10 10 10.

That's 0800 won nothing won nothing won nothing

************************************************** ***************

What is your wife trying to tell you if she's wearing a Lions shirt in

You ain't gonna score - ever!

************************************************** ****************

Saddam Hussein has appeared on Iraqi TC this morning to quell rumours
of his death in an explosion in Baghdad yesterday. To prove that the
apparence was not pre-recorded, Saddam stated that he: "Watched the rugby on
Saturday and the Lions were crap."

UK and US government officials have dismissed the report saying it
could have happened any time over the last 6 games.

************************************************** **************

There are only 2 man-made things that can be seen with the naked eye
from space....

The first is the Great Wall of China and right on its heel's is the

************************************************** *************

What is the difference between the Lions and an arsonist?

An arsonist wouldn't waste that many matches!!

Robert Burns
15-07-05, 14:07
I'm sorry, but a few of them ARE funny!

16-07-05, 00:07
... and not very original either.

Robert Burns
16-07-05, 09:07
Not to the 'wiser' generation, probably not, lol