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Danie Rossouw's World Cup Diary - September 9rd 2011

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Disclaimer - This comes from a friend, so not my writing, but too good not to pass on.

9 September 2011

It are started! It have taken four years, but finally... I are chosen on merit ahead of Bakkies.

Bakkies are pretending that he are injured, but he knowses that after by brilliant form in the Drie Nations, the coach could not leave me out. Even John admitted that he has not seen ball carrying skills like mine since Dewet Barry. I fink he is hinting that I are to be playing in the centres soon, like Sonny Bill Nonu.

We know one thing about Sunday, it are not going to be easy. World Cup fever means that many fans will be wanting my "X" before and after the match but I keep forgetting to spell it. We will also be playing Wales on Sunday.

We are experiencing a bit of a "Suzie" in the camp. "Suzie" is a code word used for meaning that rugby players are poisoned. I don't knows who came up wiff it. Anyway, according to what is called the "Januarie contract" (I guess that was when it was signed) the entire camp is supplied wiff one hundred pies a day and now we has a few thousand pies waiting to be ated before they go vrot. It might have becomed a serious medical issue, but I has founded new respect for our skipper and Frans as they said that they will take care of the problems. I don't know where they chucked them, but all the pies are now gone.

The guys did try to play a joke on me about the match on Sunday. At first, the guys tolded that it was a night match, but when I did phoned home, my ma said it was a morning match. I fink the okes are trying to catch me out. I are not stupid.

I don't know how many more diary entries I can write on this stupid laptop, because I does keep dropping it and it are starting to make a funny sound. Whoever invented gravity is a doos!

Totsiens
Danie
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