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Thread: Increasing lack of respect?

      
  1. #11

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    Default Re: Increasing lack of respect?

    Quote Originally Posted by Nigib View Post
    As to handshakes, I generally don't proffer my hand unless a player offers.
    Ditto to this. Paul23, how did you know they wouldn't shake hands? Did they leave you hanging?
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  2. #12

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    Default Re: Increasing lack of respect?

    Quote Originally Posted by Paule23 View Post
    Do any Societies have meetings or a forum for coaches in their area, where referees and coaches (or team officials) meet? This might be an idea as an education piece. An opportunity on a regular basis to re-emphasis referees are volunteers, are human and deserve at least respect for what they do. Recurring themes could be discussed from both sides. I am too junior to know if this happens and is just not shared, or if it has not been thought of.

    I know logistics, organisation and apathy could be an issue, but is it a good idea?
    Tried it. A bunch of refs turned up. One coach.
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  3. #13

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    Default Re: Increasing lack of respect?

    Quote Originally Posted by SimonSmith View Post
    Tried it. A bunch of refs turned up. One coach.
    [cynic alert]
    and the one coach who did turn up only wanted to talk about some decision he didn't agree with from last week's game
    [alert over - resume normal transmission]
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  4. #14
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    Default Re: Increasing lack of respect?

    I had a coach refuse to shake my hand for the first time this season - he was quite unhappy about a particular decision and I've literally no idea why. His team went on to lose by over 100 points (I blew up 10 minutes early) even after I was, ahem, 'lenient' with them when it became apparent what was happening.

    As Paule says, it does make you doubt yourself. I didn't have an assessor, but the home club have a retired ref on their committee who after the game asked "what the f*** was he on about?", which was reassuring. At least I hope he said "he" and not "you".

    I mentioned it in the next society meeting. Nothing formal, just a "the coach of ****** is a dick, isn't he?".

    I've not noticed anything with players, but I don't keep track. Maybe if a third of players didn't shake my hand I'd notice, but if a few don't, I don't think I'd notice.

  5. #15

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    Default Re: Increasing lack of respect?

    Quote Originally Posted by DocY View Post
    I had a coach refuse to shake my hand for the first time this season .... I mentioned it in the next society meeting. Nothing formal, just a "the coach of ****** is a dick, isn't he?".
    And I bet your passing comment wasn't even noted down, so nothing will happen, which brings us back to my earlier point - what exactly are we "reporting"?

    At a monthly meeting, if I was to say "The coach for ******** looked at me a bit funny and refused to shake my hand" I'm happy to bet a pint that the comments would go along the lines of "So what? Don't be so precious" or "*$%£ him. That's his problem".

    It does happen, but not often. Funnily enough it happened in my last game; I know I made 2 mistakes (both affecting the away team) but neither mistake affected the score.
    Last edited by Taff; 05-12-16 at 17:12.

  6. #16

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    Default Re: Increasing lack of respect?

    Quote Originally Posted by Taff View Post
    And I bet your passing comment wasn't even noted down, so nothing will happen, which brings us back to my earlier point - what exactly are we "reporting"?

    At a monthly meeting, if I was to say "The coach for ******** looked at me a bit funny and refused to shake my hand" I'm happy to bet a pint that the comments would go along the lines of "So what? Don't be so precious" or "*$%£ him. That's his problem".

    It does happen, but not often. Funnily enough it happened in my last game; I know I made 2 mistakes (both affecting the away team) but neither mistake affected the score.
    You must gauge what level you report - in my society, I am assured, everything we report to the Disciplinary officer is noted and used to track trends. As I said previously, I don't actively seek handshakes; but I do now report profanity directed against me (however idiotic my decisions may seem or actually be). If I feel a gesture of any sort was sufficiently disrespectful then I will report it. The DO can then decide whether to press charges.

    On a more positive note, I do try and reward positive/pre-emptive behaviour - for example if I'm getting too much backchat, I'll remind the captain of our prematch discussion where they agreed it wouldn't happen - if things shut up thereafter, I'll thank the skipper for sorting it out. Also, if I overhear the skip telling players to shut up/not complain.

  7. #17

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    Default Re: Increasing lack of respect?

    I no longer walk through the tunnel, but stand to the side and clap both teams. At the whistle I will shake hands with any player that offers. On more than a few occasions, players will refuse, not my problem! If I get chance I may look them up in the bar after they've had chance to calm down.

    I actually had a coach the other day say, "what have we got to do to get you on our side in a game" Mind you he was the one on the sideline earlier in the game shouting that a player being dragged along on his knees within a maul had been "tackled" and the other team had to release him :dickhead: Oh and guess what, his teams discipline was shocking, wonder where that comes from
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  8. #18

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    Default Re: Increasing lack of respect?

    Quote Originally Posted by TheBFG View Post
    I no longer walk through the tunnel, but stand to the side and clap both teams.
    I'm intrigued - what prompted you to stop going through the tunnel?

  9. #19

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    Default Re: Increasing lack of respect?

    Quote Originally Posted by TheBFG View Post
    I no longer walk through the tunnel, but stand to the side and clap both teams. At the whistle I will shake hands with any player that offers. On more than a few occasions, players will refuse, not my problem! If I get chance I may look them up in the bar after they've had chance to calm down.

    I actually had a coach the other day say, "what have we got to do to get you on our side in a game" Mind you he was the one on the sideline earlier in the game shouting that a player being dragged along on his knees within a maul had been "tackled" and the other team had to release him :dickhead: Oh and guess what, his teams discipline was shocking, wonder where that comes from
    *shakes head*

    I'm sure the majority of you know this, but whilst I can't claim to never ever get emotionally involved at times, this "baseline apoplexy mode" adopted bgy many coaches is weird to me. How on earth can you think what is happening if a game if you are borderline losing it all the time?

    didds

  10. #20

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    Default Re: Increasing lack of respect?

    Quote Originally Posted by Nigib View Post
    I'm intrigued - what prompted you to stop going through the tunnel?
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