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Danie Rossouw's World Cup Diary - September 6rd 2011

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Disclaimer - This comes from a friend, so not my writing, but too good not to pass on.

6 September 2011

Bad news. Looks like I are starting at lock on Sunday against Whales. My dynamic running and handling skills is better used playing as a loose forward, but I are a team player and will sacrifice my talent for the good of the team. Looks like Bakkies is too scared and the Boks need a real man to take the heat.

Must check with John if Bakkies does knows how to read the internet before I are publising this entry.

There are some good news however. The Maori people (the cleaners and gardeners of New Zealand, if you know what I means) will be supporting the Boks after we did attended a Maori ceremony and John did say very respectful fings and I fink he gave their chief a bottle of Klippies because they were very happy when we left and did not try to steal our hubcaps.

The coach are still being very funny. This time he are saying that John is the best hooker in the world at a press conference. We did all try to keep a straight face after he said that, but I could see some okes were giggling. Luckily I still don't understand what the coach are saying when he talks and had to ask Victor afterwards what the joke was. It was so funny man. I almost kakked myself.

I has single handedly solved the armbands problem. After we were told that we can't wear black on the rugby field because it will upset England, we didn't know what to do about the armbands. But I did fink very hard about the problem. I did fink and I did fink until there was nothing I aint funk. I was breathing in the stink until finally I stunk, because I like to fink while I have a kak and then it camed to me. The solution was so simple man. I gotted all the armbands together and I did painted them green. Juslike, you should have seen John's face when I did show him my good work the next morning. Who's the stupid one now?